PROPER English

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Here's a writing-related forward I got and had to share, just for laughs.


1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than
necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

19. The passive voice is to be ignored.

20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would
suffice.

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others
use them.

23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put
forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I
hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand
times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can
use it correctly.

26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid
colloquialisms.

28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be
derailed.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than
understatement.

And the last one...

31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Q4U: Which rule resonates with you the most? Which one irks you the most?