Mary DeMuth critique

Author Mary DeMuth does a free critique per week on her blog, So You Want To Be Published. This week, she critiqued the synopsis of my current WIP. You can read the post here.

I was almost embarrassed at how much better the re-write sounded! But, that's why Mary DeMuth is published, and I am not. :) Unfortunately for me, after I sent her the synopsis, I got a fabulous crit partner through ACFW who really helped me become more aware of my cliches. I really had a tendency to write using them. I find that the cliche sticks out in my head now, though, and I search for a more unique way to express what the cliche expresses. This can take several minutes for me!

Anyway...but thanks to Mary for pointing out a much better way to describe the plot of my book. Less passive voice and less cliches (and less run-on sentences, which was the result of my run-in with the Snowflake Method that indicated I should have a synopsis in about 5 sentences...see post here).